The Story So Far > Chapter 38

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Chapter 38- Cole - Coffee and Closure

Four weeks after Daisy disappeared and the trail is completely cold. Other than the message at the precinct a few days in, there’s been no trace of her anywhere in the city, and I have started to freak out once more. 

I should have recused myself from the case. But the Captain didn’t offer and I’m the only one who knows what I accused her of… I’m the only one who truly knows what state she was in when she left… so I don’t feel I can. 

“Sorry, sir? Sir?” The barista’s voice trickles into my consciousness like a cold rain. “Your order?” 

I shake like a dog, trying to rid myself of the Daisy-scented fog that’s filled my brain. But it doesn’t fully clear. “Sorry. Coffee black. double-shot.” 

My haze follows me to the table. I’m exhausted. I’m not sleeping, even the amount I usually would, which is saying something. I flex my fingers and toes under the table, forcing the blood to move- a military trick I haven’t used in years. 

But it isn’t until Eliza sits down that I can shake most of the sugary-cloud from my head. “Hey,” I say soothingly. She looks a lot better than she did, the bruises have all but faded, the scrapes and bashes have left small red marks on her body. The only true damage that remains from things like this is mental. 

“Hey, yourself,” she says and leans forward on the table. 

In spite of what happened, she seems good. Calm, confident. Happy. Looks can be deceiving, and she’s probably still dealing with it all. 

“How are you?” I ask, tilting my head to look at her with a pitying pinch to my brows. 

It makes her laugh, a girlish giggle I haven’t heard before. “I’m ok, actually. Better than I should be. I feel a bit stupid, if I’m honest.” 

My hand envelops hers in a crushing, grounding squeeze. “You shouldn’t feel stupid, Eliza. It’s an easy mistake to make. He looked very different.” 

The DNA from under her fingernails had come back with a positive match: Mark Holmes. A man that had been on the radar of her department for years. Eliza never worked on his case, but I have a suspicion that he targeted her specifically because of what she did. When Daisy’s back, I intend on investigating it fully. 

There’s a pinching sensation in my chest at the thought of her. 

“He did,” she sighs. “I’ll get through it.” She mutters thanks to the waitress for her cappuccino and runs an investigative eye over me as she sips. “Any news on Daisy?” 

“Nothing. I can’t help but feel I fucked this up majorly, Eliza. I practically chased her into those woods. She’s out there because of me.” 

It’s her turn to give me a squeeze. “She’ll come back. She’s a fighter.” 

I force a laugh through my nose, my head falling loose on my shoulders. “Yeah, maybe too much so. She was injured, Eliza.” 

Her hand is whipped from mine like I’ve just told her I’m contagious. The suddenness of the action takes me by surprise. Her eyes are guarded, like they did when we first broke up. God, was that only a month ago?  

“How did she get injured? Jesus, Cole,” She leans in close, her voice lowered to a hush. “You didn’t hurt her did you?”

A jump in my stomach- immediate guilt. “No!” I hiss. “Of course I didn’t.” 

But did I? I replay the moment I pinned her in the mud, her skin abnormally pale, a cold- bitten flush to the tip of her nose and cheekbones. Did I hurt her? I can’t imagine any collision that possibly did that damage to her. 

Eliza seems mollified by my insistence, her expression softening.  “Good. You really have no idea where she is?” 

Taking a sip, lettingthe cooling coffee sink down my throat. “No. If she’s anywhere nearby she’s doing an excellent job of hiding, the Captain’s got absolutely everyone on alert, facial recognition, BOLOs, the works.” 

She hums thoughtfully. “They’re very close, aren’t they?” 

“Yeah. He told me once about her past. Something happened to her… I don’t know the details,” I add with haste seeing her intrigued face. 

“Aw, I thought we were going to get some good gossip.” 

My laugh is tight, controlled. I don’t like the idea of gossiping with my ex about Daisy. No matter how comfortable I feel with her, Eliza is still my ex and Daisy is… 

Whatever Daisy is to me. 

“Ooh, I know that look,” she says in a voice tipped to tease. I brace. I hate the way Eliza makes fun of me. It seems somehow… crueller than when Daisy does it. 

She takes her time, leaning back to fold her arms across her chest, eyes examining my every reaction as I brace for the lash.

“Although… I’ve only ever seen you get that look when you talked about work. Seeing it about a woman…” she gives a low whistle. “It must be love.” 

It stings, but not as badly as I thought it would. “Don’t be absurd.” 

“I’m not. You’re all over her, you’re practically vibrating with need for her. You love her, Cole. Or am I the first person to see it?” 

“I don’t love her, I’ve been on one… two-ish dates with her. And I accused her of awful things.” 

“You did?” Eliza blinks in surprise. 

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter.” I drain my coffee cup. “It’s not important. Forget I said anything.” 

But my ex’s eyes still examine me closely as though I’m a rock she’s prizing up to examine the underside. 

“Sounds like you have some apologising to do,” she says eventually. 

“That I do.” 

We sit in silence and, not for the first time, I wonder what we ever talked about when we were together. It’s an odd thought: I thought I was going to marry her. 

“You seem to be healing really well.” 

“Yeah, I am.” 

A silence again, punctuated by our nodding heads. We both know that this is awkward. Without Daisy we wouldn’t have talked about a single thing this entire time. I start to think about what to say to end this early. 

But she seems to have the same idea. “Thank you for meeting me, Cole. It’s been great to see you.” 

That’s it? It’s been great to see me? 

“Eliza,” I pause, second guessing if I should try to talk about this or not. It’s too late, she’s looking at me with interested eyes, her hands on her purse in her lap. So I plough on. “Why did you ask me out for coffee?” Because it sure as shit wasn’t to talk about Daisy. 

She sighs, dropping her gaze to the Labubu on her bag. When she looks up at me again, her eyes are rimmed with tears. The sight of it sends a pang of guilt through me. 

“I wanted you back, Cole. I… I thought- the way you visited me in the hospital, how you looked after me… I thought we had a chance. But now, I realise we never had a chance.” 

I’ve never done well with crying women. The whole tears thing makes me freeze up. The desire to say ‘get your act together’ and ‘are you a man or a mouse’ like my father rises within me as one rolls down her cheek. If I reach for her now I’m just going to pat her, and, I’ve learned, that isn’t the thing you do with crying women. 

She must see the look of panic on my face because she gives a wet laugh and pats her nose and eyes dry. “Sorry. I know how you feel about tears.” 

An awkward grunt escapes my lips. 

“You’re in love with someone else, Cole. You’re allowed to be.” She sniffs. “I hope she loves you back.” 

Before I know it, Eliza has rounded the table to give me a kiss on my cheek, bid me goodbye and swept from the cafe, disappearing into the periphery of my life. 

My mind spins around and around from the encounter. I don’t love Daisy. She could very well still be the Heartbreaker, all circumstantial evidence points that way. But… if she’s not… Could I? 

Could she? 

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